I just finished doing homework, and it's time to turn in, but somehow I found a piece of paper folded on my desk. I didn't realise it all along until I started packing my bag. The content of the paper was written by my younger brother. I didn't think he purposely put that on my desk. I think it was meant to be kept just for himself but somehow he forgot to throw it away. He was saying that he misses home, a lot. All the people there, my family, his teachers, almost practically everyone.

I had the same feeling too when I was like him. I felt part of me was gone. Totally. Mine was worse, I had no one I knew in Singapore when I first started. At least for him, he has me. Things started to change. I lost contact with my primary school mates, the gang I used to be with is no longer in contact. I miss home, especially Mum. I miss Whisky and Brando. I miss everything while I was left with nothing. I had no one there to turn to, and do you know? My host family suck. I locked myself in bedroom everyday after school till the next morning. I did it for 4 years and half. You don't know that, do you? At least now you know. That's why I've always tried my very best to be out till late to study with friends.

You never knew how bad I felt when I knew someone was going to invade my privacy by staying over in my room. And at that moment I realised how much I've changed. I've become like what my mum feared me to be, a selfish person, and I'm still now. And you never knew how happy I was when Dad told me he'd found a house and that brother was going to move in with me. At least now I have someone to talk to at home.

Never I knew he's suffering now. I never knew that subconsciously I was going to shape him like myself. I wanted him to study hard, and get to a better school than me. Put study as the first priority among everything else. He used to be a very friendly guy, schooling in one of the top schools in Jakarta, was going to be a head prefect this year. But he sacrificed everything just for me and (he claimed so) a better future. Seeing him losing everything like what I did really hurt me a lot. He told me last night that he don't have any close friends until now. I knew him for 14 years. Give him a new environment and he'll settle in less than a week. It's been two weeks now and I don't see any change.

But everything has been done and there's nothing I can do except for continuing this for another 2 years or so. God . . . am I a bad sister?
 

So today was finally the OP day. Though I don't think I screwed it up, I still think that my round 4 rehearsal was better than this. But guess what! I spotted the QnA correctly! That was like my question for round 4 so it is still fresh lar! I was compiling list of questions that may come out and it's the first question that i spot on! HAHA thank you God. Up till now I still couldn't quite believe that PW journey has finally finally finally come to an end.

oh ya! Thank you for the chocolates and the sweeeet card, ST! love you

  

AND OH! I'M PROMOTED!
LOL, actually I know this a few days ago alr. A kind teacher told me this
But the result isn't very good lah. If I have this kind of grades for A level I'll cry like hell.
But as for my ranking in our badge... is only average. The percentile is only about 50 for all so i'm about the average student there.
nothing special. hehehehehe. just kinda shocking that i got 74.3 percentile for GP and 65.7 percentile for maths.
HAHAHHA and I don't have to take any revision examination papers and that's pretty good I guess! I don't have to study alrd till 11January 2010. WOAH SUCH A LONG HOLIDAY MAN! (mel, don't forget there're lecture tests when school reopen. that's mean!)

and uhh. I'm supposed to finish tutorial 16 for bio today and tutorial 12 for maths but i ended up going out with friends to celebrate. HAHA. an excuse but I feel great.


Thank you God!

Girl, i don't know if you will see this but I just want to say,
It doesn't matter how many times you've fallen, what matters is, do you have the strength to wake up?
 In the end, no one will remember all the hurdles you went through except the achievement that you hold.
Its how you finish it in the end that matters.
Really..

time past so fast today without me knowing. went to je to sign up for this adobe photoshop course and finding other useful course to make my holiday a fruitful one. find this mandarin course. kinda exp so gotta go back home and call mum before making any decision. she just called and she approved!  so i'll be spending my saturday and sunday on adobe and wednesday on chinese to brush up my chinese language skill after that we went to the movie box to borrow 3 movies! the maid, where got ghost, and one more chance. all singapore movies i just realise.. LOL. mayb because i wont watch them in cinemas..

after that went to imm for lunch and our grocery shopping.. then back home to watch one more chance and where got ghost. haven't watch the maid cuz it's already dark and i'm scared if i can't sleep tonight. chatting with anderooooo and xinru now. hehe gonna sleep soon i think..

dad's coming to singapore with grandma next week on the 12nd after my Oral presentation. final lap for PW !!
I will miss jj066 for sure.
idk why so many people hate pw. I love pw.. it's so fun!
oh! the newlywed cousin with his wife will be here too
hehe..

am i turning philophobic?